Standing up to bullies in school and in life. Believe it or not, a lot of our biggest regrets in life have to do with things that happened to us in grade 4 or some other early age. We never seem to forget - or forgive ourselves - for not speaking up against the bullies. We were too scared. We wish we had been more confident. And by the way most of us have also met up with a bully in our work life. Maybe he was our boss.
We remember that one time we wish we'd told him off - even if it cost us our job. We usually take some small solace in hearing that that bully later on made some unfortunate career stumble. Stayed in touch with some good friends from my childhood and youth. There's usually one childhood or high school friend who we were best buddies with. Then, one of us moved away. We might have stayed in touch at first but then got busy. Sometimes, we thought to pick up the phone, but maybe we don't have their number or email any more.
We always wonder what it would be like to sit down with them again for a coffee. We sleep with it next to us. We carry it with us constantly.
It's right next to us in the shower, just in case we see a new email icon light up through the steamed up shower glass. We know constantly checking email and Twitter in the evenings and on weekends takes us away from quality time with family and friends.
Yet, we don't stop. Romance is a big area of regret for most of us. Maybe we dumped someone that we wish we hadn't. Maybe they dumped us. Most play a never-ending game of "what might have been" for the rest of their lives. It is tough to simply be happy with the love that you've found and takes away from the special moments you have today, if you're constantly thinking back to what you once had -- which actually might not have been half as good as we think it was.
Worrying about what others thought about me so much. Most of us place way too much importance on what other people around us think about us. How will they judge us? In the moment, we think their opinions are crucial to our future success and happiness. On our death beds, none of that matters. Not having enough confidence in myself. Related to the previous point, a big regret for most of us is questioning why we had such little confidence in ourselves.
Why did we allow the concerns of others to weigh so heavy on us instead of trusting our own beliefs? Maybe we didn't think we were worth having what we wanted. Maybe we just thought poorly of ourselves. Later on, we wish we could have been more self-confident. Living the life that my parents wanted me to live instead of the one I wanted to. Related to that lack of confidence, a lot of us get sucked into living the life that we think a good son or daughter should live. Whether because we're explicitly told or just because we unconsciously adopt it, we make key life choices - about where to go to school, what to study, and where to work -- because we think it's what will make our parents happy.
Our happiness is derived through their happiness - or so we think. It's only later - 1o or 20 years on - where we discover that friends around us are dying and we're not really doing what we want to do.
A panic can start to set in. Whose life am I living any way? Applying for that "dream job" I always wanted. Maybe we didn't apply for that job we always wanted to because of a child, or because our spouse didn't want to move cities. It might not have been the perfect job for us, but we always regret not trying out for it.
Do you think Katie Couric regrets giving the nightly news gig a shot? No way. Sometimes you swing and you miss, but you have no regrets later on. Been happier more. Not taken life so seriously. Seems strange to say, but most of us don't know how to have fun. We're way too serious. We don't find the humor in life. We don't joke around. We don't think we're funny. So, we go through life very serious.
We miss out on half or maybe all the fun in life that way. Do something a little silly today. Crack a joke with the bus driver - even if he ends up looking at you weird. Do a little dance.
You'll probably smile, on the inside if not the outside. Now keep doing that, day after day. Most folks stay close to home. They don't travel all that much. Yet, big trips with friends and family - to Disney World, to Paris, or even to the lake - are the stuff that memories are made of later in life.
We're all thrown in to some new unfamiliar situation together. We've got to figure it out as a group - and it's fun, even when it rains. We really remember trips. Letting my marriage break down. Talking about the most challenging of all, it was when I was a sales executive during my previous job. I sold a product to a client, which I usually did. Simply put, we regret choices we make , because we worry that we should have made other choices. There are things I could have done differently but I see why I made the decisions I did at the time.
Regret is a negative cognitive or emotional state that involves blaming ourselves for a bad outcome, feeling a sense of loss or sorrow at what might have been, or wishing we could undo a previous choice that we made. Archaeologists studying the rise of farming have reconstructed a crucial stage at which we made the worst mistake in human history.
Forced to choose between limiting population or trying to increase food production, we chose the latter and ended up with starvation, warfare, and tyranny. Including these as possible opportunities for negotiation is an option, too. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Sign in. The exercise of writing a letter will help you practice forgiving yourself.
Write a letter addressed to your younger or past-self and in the letter talk to your younger-self like you might talk to your child or close friend. This will make sure that you are compassionate towards yourself. Remind your younger-self that you deserve the best in life even if you made mistakes, because you are human and it is ok to make mistakes. Practice daily affirmations. An affirmation is a positive statement to encourage, uplift you, and make you more compassionate towards yourself.
Tell yourself, write, or think the affirmations. Some examples of affirmations include: I am a good person and deserve the best despite my past. I am human and make mistakes, and that is ok. I have learned a lot from my past, and I am worthy of a bright future. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
You can not change what happened in the past, but you can choose how your past affects your present and future. Helpful 14 Not Helpful 2. Helpful 12 Not Helpful 0. Visualize yourself acting and doing things as you move forward and leave your regrets behind.
Helpful 10 Not Helpful 0. Seek out support groups or a counselor in order to discover how you can get relief from regret. Helpful 6 Not Helpful 0. Help needy people as a volunteer or support a charity so that you can stand back from your own life for a while. Write down how you feel about the person you hate and crumble the paper and throw it harshly. Helpful 4 Not Helpful 3. Helpful 7 Not Helpful 0. Everything happens for a reason so go on and forget the past.
Thinking about the past will do you no good. Helpful 8 Not Helpful 5. You know sometimes its hard to forget a thing which interfere your progress in future but we have to try to forget it by involving in other things like joining our friends party, listening to music, etc. If at any point your regret turns into severe depression, abnormal withdrawal, self-harming, or suicidal thoughts, please contact a doctor, psychologist, counselor, psychiatrist, suicide hot line, mental health phone line, or somebody that you trust completely.
You are not alone and there is help out there. Helpful 17 Not Helpful 2. If you are feeling regret because someone did something to you, realize that you are not to blame. But, make sure that you tell the police and your parents if you're young so that person who hurt you will be stopped from hurting you and other victims. Helpful 29 Not Helpful 8. Related wikiHows How to.
How to. More References 3. About This Article. Co-authored by:. Co-authors: Updated: March 25, Categories: Featured Articles Remorse. Article Summary X To overcome serious regrets, write down why you think you acted a certain way, and how you can do things differently next time. In other languages Italiano: Superare un Grande Rimpianto. Bahasa Indonesia: Mengatasi Penyesalan yang Serius.
Nederlands: Oprechte spijt verwerken. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 1,, times. Reader Success Stories Ines Aug More reader stories Hide reader stories. Did this article help you? Cookies make wikiHow better. By continuing to use our site, you agree to our cookie policy.
Ines Aug Nathan Braun Aug 21, I realize that what I did was wrong, but that everyone does something wrong in their lives.
Yes, I regret it, but it was also because I wasn't thinking straight. It is in the past, so now I must focus on my future. James Mannion Apr 18, I deserve a good future. It's not my role or responsibility to care for the future happiness of people in my past while I've still work to do to make myself happy.
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